Thursday, November 09, 2006

Five words... and quite a few more

The crux of what I wish to say to all Republicans in this late, great nation of ours can be summed up in five words:

You. Lose. Told. You. So!

I know I shouldn’t be bitter, but forgive me. Being called an America-hating, cut-and-run, tax-and-spend, namby-pamby, troop-despising, terrorist-loving liberal for the past six years will do that to anybody. You have squandered what little sympathy or respect I may ever have had for you in a river of blood, shrapnel, dead bodies and budget deficits.

So please, I ask you to choke on the defeat you have suffered this week with all due humility, and think about how this man, this arrogant, corrupt, incompetent administration and your (YOUR!) Congress has brought your party and MY country to its present state.

It’s no good blaming the liberal media, the liberals’ political establishment, or liberal latte-sipping effeminate metrosexuals for our plight – you’ve controlled Congress for more than a decade and the presidency for more than half this one. The entire Federal government! I’m sure you’ll try to find somebody else to blame for your woes, but maybe you should think about the damage you’ve done for a change -- instead of you neo-cons' typical paranoid victimology.

Save that stuff for the presidential race and Rush Limbaugh – unless you’ve got Parkinson’s disease, in which case we will all know you are faking it.

I’ve never voted for a Republican, but even after the 2000 election, in my wildest nightmares I never suspected your party of being capable of what it has done to our country’s reputation in the world – and to the world, for that matter. To say nothing about the other issues facing us – which include health care costs, social security, the runaway budget deficit, governmental corruption, global warming, pollution, nuclear proliferation, terrorism and a growing worldwide backlash against the good ol’ US of A, etc, etc, etc.

I won’t repeat what I said three-and-a-half years ago, but will reiterate that I predicted what is happening now, in Iraq and elsewhere. Unfortunately, this fact brings me very little pleasure.

Yes. We are a country, one of many in the world. We don’t control it, though you may think it’s our divine right. And thanks to the man you have voted for twice, we have lost almost as much influence in the world in the past five years as we gained in the previous fifty. And all the while you derided any disagreement, any voice of dissent, any hint that you might be mistaken, as anti-American, freedom-hating and pro-terrorist. We hate freedom. And we want nothing more than to cut and run and leave Iraq in a much worse place than when we invaded.

I’m sorry, but you neo-conservatives have done so much better living up to these lofty goals than any liberal could ever conceive. I mean it takes not just casual incompetence or benign neglect but active arrogance and willful corruption to achieve these things. Ask Halliburton. Ask the guys who have to guard empty trucks against suicide bombers. Ask Iraqis. The only people blind to the situation are yourselves. Congratulations – you have exceeded my wildest imaginings of the depths to which an American government can sink.

You say you want victory. What is victory? Total cessation of insurgent activities? A mild reduction? Ten thousand more dead people? A hundred-thousand? You never defined victory in the first place except as a buzzword for political gain, and now that it’s unattainable you are scrambling to redefine it.

The fact is that, for “victory”, you will have to kill millions of people, level every Iraqi city and eradicate entire culture – but you will never admit it, because it would affect your re-election chances. It must be nice to know that 130,000 troops are over there defending your party while you fetishize, romanticize and exploit for political power the blood and lives they have sacrificed, in the name of an unwinnable war that your own party started. Give yourselves a big, fat American pat on the back.

It must make your lying and political pandering, piffle and puffery of “freedom”, “democracy”, and “liberty” that much easier. Perhaps you even believe these things are actually being brought about in Iraq, though your government’s actions have instead brought freedom, democracy, and liberty’s opposites: anarchy, mob rule, chaos, and indiscriminate violence. It must be nice to be so paranoid and divorced from reality.

Oh, I know what you will say – the liberal media isn’t reporting the good things happening in Iraq, it’s due to their lies and omnipresent manipulation that people voted this way. I only hope you continue to think this way, as it will ensure that your party remains out of power for the foreseeable future. Sensible people disagree. Repeat that to yourselves when you find yourselves falling into that little mental trap. It will save you some anguish.

I’ll also admit that I’m not confident about the Democrats making things right. I have plenty of bad things to say about them, believe it or not. But it’s inconceivable that a Democrat-controlled government could be worse than the den of thieves, liars, idiots and arrogant ignoramuses we have now. They make Nixon look like a saint. Your party has lost my vote for the rest of my life, unless they put a gun to my head – which I wouldn’t put past them. They are THAT bad. Witness the crowd of Republican party operatives that crashed the entirely legal vote recount in late 2000 in order to stop it. They succeeded. Hitler would smile in approval.

I hope you will think about the things I’ve said, but based upon the past 12 years, I’m not optimistic. Many of you, such as George Will (also an opponent of the Iraq war!) are already saying that your party lost this election because you weren’t conservative enough. I hope you continue to believe this for my own selfish reasons, because it will ensure that your party continues to lose more elections.

I happen to love America but am ashamed and frightened of what this government has done. If we didn’t get rid of W this year, at least we gave him a “thumpin’”. He can’t do much more damage than he’s already done. Unfortunately, that is a very cold comfort. I wish I could take more pleasure at the Republicans’ loss on Tuesday, but I will settle for a small measure of relief, as well as a bit of juvenile gloating...